Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Bullying has to stop, it is not right.

Please note this blog post is my thoughts, views and opinions on bullying. If you don't agree with it then please exit out of this view now. I am purely expressing myself.

Bullying is not ok. Bullying is awful. Bullying is treating someone like they are nothing. Bullying is not right. Bullying is crossing the boundaries. Bullying is overpowering others.

It makes me mad and frustrated when I hear about bullying. Bullying is so personal and can create issues for the victim that are going to stick with them for the rest of their lives. Bullying needs to be addressed immediately and stopped. I'm sure everyone has seen the recent case of bullying that was caught on tape and shows how the victim stands up for himself.

He is a hero for being able to stand up and show the bully that he is a human being and doesn't deserve to be treated like that. No one deserves to be treated like that. Bullies need to stop. We are all human and yes we all look different, act different, dress different. That doesn't mean that we deserve to be bullied.

When my son tells me about the times where he has been picked on, or tripped or hit, I ask him why he doesn't stand up for himself. His response is 'Mummy I'm scared, they might hurt me even more so I just wait till I feel better and run away from them'.

How sad is that? Why do children feel that it is ok to make another child feel hurt? Why do children want to see others in pain? Why does being different mean you are a target for being bullied?

It has to stop and it begins with parents responsibility to teach their children that its ok to be different, and that you don't go around hurting others because you don't like them or because they are different.
It has to be addressed at school, when a child lets a teacher know that they are being hurt, teachers need to take this seriously and address it immediately.
We all need to talk and communicate with our children and address any issues they may have. Don't ignore them.

Bullying is a national problem and happens everyday. Our children need to feel safe and know that they are beautiful, a great individual and that is ok to be themselves.

Whether you have been bullied at school, in the workplace, or at home- its not right, stand up for yourself. You are worth it.


BaublesBubblesBags said...

Good on the victim for taking a stand. I think bullying is such a sad thing to happen, even in this day and age. I've taught my youngest who was bullied before to stand up for himself. To either say STOP IT! and walk away or yes, fight back. I know two wrongs doesn't make it right but sometimes, bullies need to be put in their place.

DanniiBeauty said...

@BaublesBubblesBags - thanks for your comment. I also teach my kids to stand up for themselves as well - its not ok to be bullied. Bullies definitely need to be taught that it is wrong and it has to stop.

Tracy D said...

Well said. My heart breaks for those in these situations and I only hope that they have support from other people in their lives to help them get thru it :)

Debbie said...

Obviously there's stuff going on at home to warrant a child to feel it necessary to bully another child. It amazes me how much bullying there is - and it's so sad. My daughter was bullied at school last year (she was 5). And I was so mad (internally!) at the other child and parent. We have taught our children to 'talk, walk and tell' if they're being bullied (say they don't like it, walk away, and if it persists, tell an adult/teacher). It's also so important that children know that their family is a safe and loving place to come home to.

Kitty said...

I think you've hit the nail on the head with 'why do kids think it's OK to pick on other kids?' How are these kids learning that it's acceptable to taunt, tease or physically abuse their peers? What makes them think they're any better than a child who's overweight or smart or wears glasses? I blogged today about my own experiences of bullying and I wish more than anything I'd had the guts to stand up and tell those bitches to back the hell off!

Angela said...

SUCH an important issue! Bullying is such a traumatic and damaging experience. Breaks my heart to see it still very much alive in schools.

If I ever have kids, I will not hesitate to tell them to stand up for themselves if they're ever bullied.

Joni Llanora said...

I think the school has to impose harsher punishments on bullies. A warning won't just fly anymore. As a parent of a child with disability this issue is very scary.

Emily said...

I was sooo happy to see that kid stand up for himself! Bullying never really happened at my school but I really don't want my kids growing up to be either party. Scary.

Blocks and Knocks said...

I think it starts and ends with the parents. I believe the children are learning this behavior at home and it is not stopped. It would be great if all parents were like us, who had big hearts and cared for their neighbors. But we are not talking about those parents. We are rerefrring to parents such as my drug addicted abusive neighbors in #13 who don't give a rats about society, the ones who send their kids to school with rats tails and piercings and a vocab to make a sailor blush. These parents who bully their wives and kids and workmates. Parents bully, kids bully. Unfortunately it will never stop while we have shitty parents raising kids.

DanniiBeauty said...

@Blocks and Knocks - I agree 100%. I notice this at my sons school too, I have seen teachers talk to parents about their childrens behaviour and the parents don't care. This is so frustrating!

SamMakeup said...

Dannii, I'm so pleased that you commented on my beauty article, as I may not have found this otherwise.

Bullying is horrid. I was briefly bullied as a teenager in secondary school, but had been taught by my parents to stand up for myself, and it nipped it in the bud.

So many children aren't taught how to handle bullying, that its great to see so many commenters above who are supporting their children in such a way.

I love that phrase 'talk, walk, tell'. Not heard it before, but I shall be using it with my children.

I do role play with them, and aim to give them the tools to deal with life's situations, but a short snappy phrase like that will be easy for my younger children to remember.

Well done you for highlighting this daily situation that too many people 'Ostrich' about.

Sam x

supermac said...

I have seen this before but thanks for still posting this because this is one issue that needs the kind of conversation that your blog has triggered.

You know what's the other thing that bothered me about this video (as if the scene is not horrifying enough)? It's the voices of the other kids sniggering, and nonchalantly annotating the scene as if this was something so common in their everyday life. So sad.

Anonymous said...

I think that often the kids who are bullies have their own issues, hence the parents of these kids who don't care their child is a bully. I was bullied at school and I did stand up for myself, funnily enough the teachers were ok with that. Eventually I changed schools, sometimes it's better to just "run away." It was the best thing I ever did!

Roanna said...

bullying is horrible and we should all remember that it has happened to every single one of us at least once... As an in-company English teacher I listen to the slightly nasty comments my adult students say to their colleagues and I'm shocked, but what can I do?! I can't yell at the bullies in this case or publicly's not grade school anymore, they can defend themselves. So I do what I can, I make sure that I give the person who was picked on extra attention and I compliment them on their work. I suppose that at their age they've built up a tough skin, but I'm not much younger and I certainly feel the hurt from things said to me even a decade ago!
Keep saying your mind! We are behind you 100%!

T'lia said...

I definitely agree that bullying is bad, and that victims should stand up for themselves. I'm the case of the video above though, I don't think what the 'victim' did was right. There's a difference between standing up for yourself and physically hurting someone. Just because it was done to him, doesn't make it right for him to hurt back.

DanniiBeauty said...

@T'lia - thats true, however in this case the victim was bullied by this kid for a long time. There were many other things done to him like being taped to a pole, slapped, tripped, teased because of his weight - for over two years. The victim has had enough and reacted by doing what he did.
If you are bullied for the first time - i think its reasonable to stand up for yourself and tell the bully to stop and walk away. But if it continues and doesn't stop, what do you do?
Retaliating back to the bully in a way that they are bullying you may be the only answer.

Ling Tung said...

Thanks for this inspiring post on bullies. It really has to stop. I remember being bullied at school for being the only chinese person there. This boy who was older and bigger than me used to kick me EVERY DAY!!! And I never told anyone :(

DanniiBeauty said...

@Ling Tung - Oh no that is awful! You poor thing. Its so hard when you don't tell anyone and it just continues.

Bullying is such a huge problem and it not only happens at schools but it also happens at work amongst adults.

It really needs to be addressed and kids need to get the help they need to deal with their issues.

Its not right to be bullied and no one deserves to be bullied!

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